Thursday June 25- Shiva lessons

Hi !

New York City: What’s cookin this week 

In this week’s enews…

• What I learned while sitting on the floor for a week part one

• What I learned while sitting on the floor for a week part two

• 20 minutes earlier

• Great post: Tips for your next appeal

• The perfect Tetris game

• P.S. House strikes back

The solution to the Triple E (enews easter egg) from a few weeks ago: Cities where the U.S. capitol has been located.

First and foremost: Thank you to EVERYONE who sent me condolence emails after the passing of my father z”l. I appreciate that you took the time to write me. Your words, thoughts and prayers were very comforting.

And it’s on that topic that I want to concentrate in this week’s enews.

I sat the traditional Jewish “shiva” for my father. This is a special seven day mourning period. It was a long week and as I look back, I found some nonprofit ideas and lessons I want to share with you.

Let’s dive in.

Boston: Lessons from sitting on the floor I

My dad’s funeral was late Thursday evening. My mom and her six kids observed the “shiva” (seven day mourning period) from Friday morning till the following Thursday morning (except the Sabbath).

There are many different customs that are observed during shiva. For example, my dad, as a sign of mourning, sat on the floor during shiva for his parents, rather than on low chairs or stools like everyone else. I decided to do the same for him.

I am going to share with you things that occurred to me while I sat on the floor and what your nonprofit can learn from them.

1️⃣ Who asked you

There are many many people who knew my dad across multiple countries and continents. Our job was to use as many avenues as possible to let max people know he passed so they could visit or call or message during shiva to comfort the mourners.

But that doesn’t mean they’d visit or contact us. I’m still getting calls and messages post shiva from people, which I very much appreciate. Not everyone can be available when you are.

Just because your nonprofit asks doesn’t mean people will give right away or at all. Your job is to get the word out far and wide as often as possible. Some donors may give after the campaign is over- and that’s fine!

I remember managing a year-end campaign and the organization received a reply card in the mail… ten months after the campaign ended. The nonprofit staff were a little miffed about it. I wasn’t. People have their own timetables for responding and giving. When they’re ready, they’ll help out.

2️⃣ They need a reason to give

People my family hadn’t heard from in 30-40 years showed up at the shiva to pay their respects. They heard the news and wanted to reconnect as well as let us know how my father impacted them.

One woman came and told us she was a classmate of my dad in high school in 1966! We were floored and of course wanted to hear what my father was like back then.

I know that your nonprofit has lapsed donors. They had a relationship with your organization at one time but it ended. You need to give them a reason to come back and engage.

That starts with reminding them not only that you exist but about the good they did when they were donors. Update them. Make them feel connected again. Cause them to walk thru the door, have a conversation and stay in touch.

3️⃣ Delete delete delete 

During shiva I was not really checking email. Our custom is to spend as much time as possible focusing on the person who passed. Unless I saw something which was connected to my father’s passing, I didn’t open or read.

As someone who reads every email from every nonprofit that comes in my inbox, it was weird after shiva to just delete hundreds of emails that piled up in my inbox. I did scan to make sure I didn’t miss what I considered to be “important” emails but for the sake of my inbox, I had to trash most of what was in there.

If you’ve been here long enough, you know I’m a huge fan of sending MORE emails to your audience rather than fewer. I know many people have overflowing inboxes and they simply scan and pick what looks important and/or emails from people and organizations they care about.

Many of your subscribers won’t read everything you send- and that’s okay! As long as there is consistent and constant communications with valuable content, they will pick out your emails and read at least one out of every three or four if not more.

If they do that, your fundraising and marketing efforts will be very successful.

4️⃣ Through their eyes 

He was my father. I have a certain way of viewing who he was, his personality and actions. But it was fascinating for me to hear how OTHERS viewed my dad through their interactions with him.

I learned so much about my dad by simply listening to the stories people told at the shiva. What my dad said, the circumstances, how people were impacted by his actions. It was not only cathartic and comforting but eye opening to hear about sides of your own father you weren’t aware of.

When I work on a strategy, one of the things I do is interview people associated with the organization. Board members, staff, volunteers, beneficiaries and donors. My goal is to understand how THEY view the nonprofit’s work, mission and services. You learn a lot by hearing and understanding how others view you.

Short surveys via email are another great way to accomplish this. Three to four short questions and subscribers will share what they know about your work. Try it. The results may surprise you in a good way. You’ll learn things about your nonprofit you hadn’t even considered.

Jacksonville: Lessons from sitting on the floor II

5️⃣ People WANT to be kind 

During shiva I didn’t make a single meal. Instead, family and friends participated in a “meal train”- they cooked meals for all the mourners (that’s seven of us!). And since we’re Jewish, they didn’t just cook a minimal amount. My mom’s fridge and freezer were bursting at the seams!

When times are tough we may not want to ask or rely on others. If life isn’t easy for us, it isn’t easy for our supporters.

But it’s important to remember: People WANT to be kind, people WANT to be helpful. They just need a reason.

When news of my father’s death started to get around, calls and whatsapps and emails started pouring in from friends and family asking who was preparing meals. They simply wanted to help.

As a nonprofit, never stop asking. People want to do good in this world. You need to put the opportunity in front of them. And they will respond.

Which means…

6️⃣ Who’s in charge

Managing 21 meals for seven different people with varied dietary restrictions is a big job. Someone has to take overall responsibility and be the face of the “campaign.”

My daughter was that person. She took charge immediately and everything went through her. She was on top of who was cooking which meal, picking up food when needed (some of the meals were sponsored by people abroad who gave money for us to buy takeout) and making sure we always had what we needed.

When he worked for nonprofits and ran large events, my dad was great at organizing all the details. That was one of his specialties. My daughter takes after him.

No matter how big or small the campaign, one person has to take the overall lead. Letters should come from that person. Their name, headshot, signature and job title should appear at the bottom of every email.

It’s okay to have a team of people running the capaign but make sure one person is in charge. This way, if people have questions, they know exactly who to turn to.

7️⃣ Every single day 

During shiva, my siblings and I reviewed the laws of mourning. The mourning period for a parent is twelve months. There is a custom to give tzedaka (charity) every day that one can during the year. The charity is meant to honor my father’s memory by helping others.

I am going to try my best to do this. Every day I will give a small amount which by the end of the year will add up to, what is for me, a large amount donated.

I have said this here numerous times but I’ll say it again: Nonprofits are not great at recurring giving programs. They may pay them lip service by adding a “monthly” option on the online donation form but that’s where it ends. There’s no strategy, no program for monthly givers and no special recognition of their efforts.

People don’t always have the $100 you’re asking for in a campaign. But they CAN donate $10 per month and by the end of the year, they hit and surpass what you originally requested. And that can make them feel really really good- which boosts retention and future giving.

Please please please get to work on a strategic, well thought out and planned recurring giving program.

I am exhausted. The week-long shiva drained me. Long days spent interacting with friends and family, listening to stories, remembering who my dad was and learning all kinds of new things about him.

Now I’m starting the year-long mourning journey of someone who has lost a parent. Additionally, I am helping my mother with all the post death things to do. It’s a lot but it’s what my dad wanted me to do.

To conclude, I want to share this again: Thank you to those who reached out. You have no idea how good it made me feel.

New London: What’s going on with people?

We live in a society that is very judgmental. I know that sometimes it’s hard to consider what people may be going thru as we watch their actions and moves.

I encourage all of you to watch this video called “20 minutes earlier.” This is not only on a personal level but an organizational one as well.

Nonprofiteers spend so much of their time dealing with the hardest and toughest issues out there. We don’t judge. We simply want to help. And that’s what makes you special.

The above video is meant to encourage you to keep doing what you’re doing. To not judge someone at their lowest but to consider what led them there and give them some grace. We could all use less judgement, more love and patience.

Toronto: A little of this and that

In this section I’m going to share with you great content I’ve picked out that you can learn from.

1. 13 tips for your next fundraising appeal. MUST READ!!! (Hands On Fundraising)

2. What pitch do donors actually remember? (Nonprofit Pro)

3. Mistakes to avoid in your online gift string (The Agitator)

4. Find your organization’s voice and tone (Voice For Good)

5. Tips for writing better emails (Action Rocket)

Jerusalem: The music takes an extended pause

I loved playing Tetris. Lord knows how many hours straight I could play it. But there was always a level or two that tripped me up.

Which is why- although it’s long- I watched the entirety of this video about the perfect Tetris game. I’ll never even come close.

SOTW (Song of the week): I’m going to have to put this section on hiatus. During the 12 month mourning period, I will not be listening to music. That’s one of my mourning customs. This is a hard one for me because I love to have music playing when I work. But as my dad did for his dad, so will I.

I’ll be back in your inbox in two weeks. Have a great weekend!

P.S. LOVE!!! Sometimes you just have to shut down criticism. Click below to read the original post and response.